Praying for the Dark
by Keline Jacquegai Chisp
Summary: This is about one of Remus' monthly transformations and the reminiscing after it. T for mild violence and inflicting self hurt. Please read and review.


**Praying for the Dark **

Remus Lupin moaned softly as he locked the last dead bolt on his basement door. He then cast a spell on it and all the windows to be imperturbable.

He began to shudder as hair grew from all his skin. His nose began to protrude to create a snout. Soon he began to howl in pain, running in circles searching for something to hurt, finding nothing he began gnawing on himself.

He bled in pain, but found no joy or sorrow from it. Tears leaked from his eyes as he howled, wishing to not be alone as animal instincts took over.

For hours the pain and gnawing of him did not cease and he continued to howl, in pain of bleeding and loneliness. A penned up animal, rabid and craving contact to another, but the bit of humanity left in him told himself he couldn't have it.

As the moon began to set, his want for drawing his own blood, any blood, decreased. Soon he was huddling in a corner a pain-ridded creature.

His blood flowed freely, though he did not care. He was gaining back his humanity and with it came good, but painful memories. It let him reminisce about when he didn't have to suffer through this alone. When his dear friends weren't dead, caged up (for he knew all too well that feeling), and traitors of trust.

When these hairs, were only a minor issue. When he could romp with his friend's, safe from hurting them.

As the last hairs faded, he went to undo the padlocks. He went to his wardrobe and took out the potions and ointments he kept there. Wincing he applied them to his own bleeding aching body.

He then took out a tattered old cloak, which had stains of ointment and potion all over it and put it on.

He looked in the mirror to be sure all traces of his slavery were gone. He took the wooden cane from beside his wardrobe and pocketed his wand.

He wobbled out his door into the cold, frosty numbing cold air. The cold helped stop his pain as it was numbed. He limped slowly to the park and through it's gates.

He stared up at the moonless, starless sky and breathed in content. The darkness showed him he was free of his slavery and could live freely if only for a time.

Tired he did not hear the person walk up behind him. She stared longingly at him, but by the time he had turned, he only saw an old lady walking.

Walking up to her concerned, he asked, "Are you lost? Can I help you with something?" Remus was greatly confused; no one ever came around here. He began to worry. What if he had gotten out and bit her? She probably wouldn't have survived he answered himself.

"I'm fine dear. But what is a young man such as yourself doing out so late?" she inquired, hoping to get just a few minutes to talk with him. He was always so closed up nowadays.

"Nothing all that interesting," he said, but she raised her eyebrows inquiring this reply.

"You wouldn't believe me, if I told you," he explained.

He thinks I'm a muggle? She almost laughed, but caught herself. "Try me," she suggested.

She reminded him of someone, though he couldn't place whom. It had to be the look in her eyes, he decided. They were comforting, homey almost. Seeing this anywhere surprised him, he hadn't known anything to be homey since his Hogwarts days.

"I've just had a bas night, I thought I would walk it off," he finally said.

What took him so long? She wondered. "You look tired. Why not sit down?" she suggested. He must have had a really tough night, she thought. But they didn't sit down as she had suggested instead they continued walking. Though Remus slowed down a considerable amount, in consideration for the old lady.

She asked, "So what happened, tonight? You poor thing, you look as though your best friends just turned on you," she told him concerned. Not an old-lady concerned but more a good friend wanting to be more concerned.

This hit him hard that was too close to home. "More a master only just left me alone," he said, thinking this was a safer topic.

She almost cried at this, it wasn't fair he had to go through that alone, that he made himself go through it alone. "A girl was it?" she asked knowingly.

"Of a sort, you could say," he agreed. After all, the moon was considered by many to be a feminine feature in the night sky.

"It hurts when you can't have them, doesn't it?" she asked. While refusing to admit to herself that she was talking about her.

"Yes, it does," he agreed, brightening her hopes. "Did someone you know die?" he asked, because this is how he felt as though his friends had died again and she felt as though she had been shot down.

"Many sadly," she replied, staring up at him. "Oy wotcher!" she warned him as he almost hit a low hanging branch.

He avoided it with ease and shot her an odd glance, one she couldn't avoid. "Wow, interesting. I only know one person who speaks like that and meaning no disrespect she is _much_ younger then you." An interested grin, turning out to be more of a grimace as he experienced a jab of pain, made it's way onto his face.

She must have looked surprised, because he suggested. "Why don't we sit down, I'm getting a bit tired." She took a seat on a park bench gladly, but more concerned for him then she was for her.

"Old battle wound?" she inquired, trying to keep the subject as far away from her as possible.

"Actually a quite new one," he replied in contradiction to what she thought.

O my God, she thought, he got that hurting himself tonight. Without so much as a second thought, which probably would have been advisable just then, she kissed him on the lips, releasing her tiring longing for him.

As she pulled back, Remus looked down to see a young pink haired woman, with a heart-shaped face, in his hands. He was not as surprised as she had been by her actions.

"Good evening, Nymphadora," he greeted politely teasing, as though she had only just appeared, which was true in a sense.

Her face had become a shade pinker then her hair and still was as she said, "Good twilight. And don't call me that."

"Ah is that what you call snogging in the dark, before dawn?" he inquired, still teasing.

"No." she stated matter-of-factly something he was quite sure she had picked up from Hermione. "That is what the dictionary calls the dark hour after dusk and often the hour of dark before dawn."

"You have learned something new I see." He said sounding impressed.

"Only so I could use it in a context such as this," she replied, stubbornly.

"And what context is this?" he questioned.

"The one in which I finally get to snog you," she teased.

"Well then by all means," he said raising his eyebrows suggestively while teasing, "You a given permission."

"Since when did I need your permission for such things?" she asked as though offended.

"Since I started doing this," he replied, kissing her sweetly.

"Well that's why I didn't know about it, it occurred so recently." She told him scrunching up her nose and kissing him again.

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